Greetings from the BB and the WW! We are starting a Taggin’ Hash Tuesday tradition, which will continue based on reader responses and questions, that focuses on #fatproblems.
#fatproblems are issues specifically related to being fat. We’ll give a couple of examples today, but we want some reader submissions as well!
Think of those questions that you feel awkward asking your skinny friends because you know that they wouldn’t quite understand—questions about your fat body’s needs, awkward moments, successes and failures. Then, submit those questions to us (via comment, email, twitter, Facebook message—we will respect privacy if you want to remain anonymous!) and we will answer them.
A breakthrough moment for both the BB and the WW occurred when we discovered that we both had someone to turn to that we could discuss #fatproblems with.
For example, we both used to take the elevator in the building where we had class so we didn't have to walk into class out of breath. Not just fat people had trouble with those stairs, but fat people would be the first to be noticed if they walked into a classroom out of breath, and that's something we tried to avoid. But if you are a fat person taking an elevator, you often feel like passers-by will judge you or think hurtful things about you, so this was something we were sneaky about. When we finally confessed to one another that this was something we did, we felt better about doing it and sent each other "elevator shame" texts.
Now, we know that we shouldn't feel ashamed of taking the elevator, but it was fun to joke around about others' reactions to us taking the elevator. More than once we got some looks as though people were looking for some type of disability. When they found none, their glances showed disdain. But this didn't stop us from taking the elevator or joking about it. It was helpful to express solidarity and humor about the fact that we had the same #fatproblems: Not wanting to appear sweaty in class, because it would automatically be connected to our fat, and feeling that elevator shame!
So our solution to that #fatproblem: Do what YOU want and find solidarity in others!
Now, here's a BB #fatproblem that I know for a fact has affected other fatties, including the WW: Chafing! When you have large thighs that rub together, they have a tendency to chafe in all weather and seasons! It can be a majorly painful issue if not taken care of in a timely manner, and if you have friends whose thighs DON'T touch, it can be awkward to explain the problem to them.
I went into a Dick's Sporting Goods to ask about a chafe stick, which is like deodorant stick but unscented and for chafing, and I immediately received weird looks. Typically, sports players use these when they are very active. Well, I CHAFE FROM JUST WALKING SOMETIMES. The salesperson immediately looked me up and down, and was really awkward when I asked about the chafe stick. She asked what sport I played to which I awkwardly replied "none..."
After this strange and embarrassing visit to Dick's, I never went back again. Instead, I tried to look for alternate chafing solutions. The WW, after I met her, actually had some great tips!
Some of the WW's anti-chafing tips:
1. Deodorant: I use regular deodorant on my inner thighs to prevent chafing with certain outfits. NEVER put it on right after a shower! That can cause all kinds of problems.
2. Leggings: Sometimes I wear leggings under pants that I know will chafe my legs. This one works particularly well in the winter.
3. Monistat Chafing Relief Powder-Gel: I got this stuff from a relative a couple years ago and it works really well! The bottle is small so it can be hidden discreetly in a pocket or purse for on-the-go use!
4. Bike shorts: These are discrete and a cooler option than leggings for the summer. They can be worn under dresses, skirts, shorts, and jeans. The BB wears them under her loose-fitting work uniform to prevent chafing.
Okay! We have just given you two of our own #fatproblems: dirty looks over an elevator and chafing problems. We'd love to hear from you, our readers! Send us your #fatproblems and maybe we'll talk about them next week!
Chafing is the worst. I went to visit my bestie when she lived in Milwaukee on a hot summers day. We were walking through her neighborhood to some time-limited certain destination when suddenly, half way between her house and the destination, I started to chafe BADLY. I tried to explain, but she's never had that problem (#skinnythighproblems?) but being the bestie she is, we changed our course to the nearest Wal Greens to find baby powder (what a mess!) and deodorant (agreed it works!). I just remember wanting to cry though. It hurt to walk but it also hurt to feel it inside too. It made me embarrassed and confused that I was disgusted with my body for no reason other than natural chafing. Sure, my bestie didn't get it but if I had been with anyone else - oh gosh. I'd love to find bike shorts that fit comfortably under skirts but they always seem to slide down my belly, making my belly bulge even more distinct under clothes (does that make sense?). Same thing with tights and leggings. Then I have to keep pinching them through my clothes to pull them up. Just more awkward and uncomfortable. Any suggestions on where you might have found or seen legit big girl bike shorts?
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies, love your blog!
Kara
I had this great, long reply, praising the shorts I'm gonna recommend in a second, but then the internet eated it.
DeleteI love my Jockey Skimmies. They only go up to XXL, so not a solution for every fat girl, but I'm size 20 pants/50in hips and I fit best in the L even though their fitting guide would put me at 3XL. YMMV, but they're an inexpensive option that can be found a Kohl's for ~$20, come in 2 length, a bunch of colors, are anti-static, are not shapewear, and don't slide down on me (purely anecdotal I know).
On a different note, and know that I am saying this in the spirit of this blog and that it is in no way an attack: I don't like the descriptor "legit big girl". It made me self-conscious. "Am I a 'legit big girl?' Am I fat enough to participate in the conversation?" I get told all the time I'm not /that/ fat, or that I couldn't possibly be my clothing size/weight; I'm too fat to be "healthy" but I'm not fat enough for some parts of the fat community. I am sure you didn't mean to alienate me, or anyone else, but it kinda did. Just something to realize.
From the WW: Kara, I totally get it with the chafing. That used to happen to me a lot when I'd wear dresses and then it would be days before it would go away. IT IS SO PAINFUL. One thing I do with leggings that I didn't mention on here (because I sometimes have that problem where they slide down) is wear a shaper over them. I have one that is big, so it really doesn't do much shaping, but it is snug enough that it keeps the leggings in place. Again, that's more of a cold weather solution and it is a lot of layers. I'll let the BB tell you about bike shorts, because that is something I haven't tried yet.
ReplyDelete