Dear Someone Sunday: Thanks for That Advice we DIDN'T ask For

Dear People Who Think It Is Their Business To Tell Others How To Be Healthy,

 It isn't.

 

We're tired of your false equivalencies (see photo above), preachy words, and pity-masked-by-fake-concern.

                                                  Let's begin with the picture.                                                  

a) to begin smoking is a choice

b) being fat is not always a choice

c) people get pretty annoyed when you tell them smoking is unhealthy

d) just as people get annoyed when you tell them being fat is unhealthy

e) the damage caused by smoking is not in any way comparable to a person's body shape

Now, we are in no way telling our readers to go out there and call people out for being smokers. Chances are if you're smoking you probably already know all of the concerns and get really annoyed with people telling you how to live your life. Our real point here is that biology and the choice to smoke are very different, and that we are sick of people calling out both parties by using a false equivalency.

Now on to the preachy words.  NO ONE LIKES SOMEONE WHO ACTS LIKE THAT.  Do you like feeling lectured like a petulant child?

Didn't think so. It's not your job to martyr yourself as a savior, going around rescuing people from their "vices." I'M FAT. I’M NOT A VICTIM OR SOMEONE WHO MADE AN UNINFORMED CHOICE.

Finally, get out with your pity-masked-as-concern.  This one time, the WW received a weight loss pamphlet at work from a random customer (incidentally, a man) accompanied by a sympathetic gaze.  What did she do?  At the time, she was not a fat-activist, so she didn't say anything, but she wanted to throw it back in his face and say, "I LIKE BEING FAT, THANKS."

The point here is that fat people shouldn't be made to feel like they're wrong for looking the way they do.

This relates back to the BB’s experience at the gynecologist. Something she forgot to mention: The doctor also asked her, in a voice filled with condescending pity, “Level with me, do you even want to lose weight?” DON’T ASSUME THAT WEIGHT LOSS IS THE KEY TO PERFECT HEALTH AND HAPPINESS, AND DON’T ASSUME THAT YOU HAVE ALL OF THE ANSWERS.

We’ve researched plenty to the contrary of these assumptions on our blog, so you can go ahead and stop with the pity now.

What is most annoying about these situations is the inherent way in which people trying to “help” always come off as though they know best and are in the right. Did you ever stop to think that maybe fat people, smokers, or any other group you are judging by trying to “help” already know everything you are telling them? Did they ask you to tell them your opinion? Most importantly:

Have you ever considered that your advice is wrong or does not apply to that person?

  

The real point of this letter is to tell people to think before they speak. It’s a cliché, yes; but it holds true. Always consider your words before you say them, even if you have the best intentions. Sometimes good intentions blind you to your own ignorance.

Sincerely,

The FABULOUSLY FAT and FED UP BB and WW!