Greetings Readers!
In regards to this post it is arbitrary that today is Throwback Thursday. Instead, I'll be writing an open letter to someone I admire very much: My Partner in Blogging, the Wider Writer.
If you did not get a chance to read her beautifully honest post yesterday, go back and do that! In the meantime, I want to give her heartfelt post the feedback that it deserves from someone (me!) who knows her very well. Coincidentally, this feedback will also demonstrate how to be a fat ally in constructive ways. Sidenote: Read comments from almost anyone who has given feedback on this blog and you will see the beauty of solidarity and allies.
Dear WW:
Did you know that you inspire me everyday? A HUGE (hehe) part of my journey to body acceptance has been your support. From our discussions about our own personal fat issues to our ideas about fat activism, we have taken this journey together just as much as we have taken it alone. There is always a need for support and there are always opportunities to discuss shared experiences, but there are just some parts of the journey to body acceptance that are too immediate, introspective, or painful to express with another person in the moment that they are happening. The fact that you opened up about deep emotional struggles makes me admire you for those very reasons.
I wish that our lives lined up in regards to being in the same area and working together as teachers the way that they line up in what seems almost every other aspect. I wish I had been able to talk to you yesterday when you were thinking all of the amazing, saddening, and important thoughts that you blogged about.
That being said, I am so thankful for this safe, cyber space in which we can still share our thoughts and ideas while we are far away. I am also thankful that you posted about your struggles for others to read and benefit from.
It is so important to blog about the harsh realities of the journey to body empowerment. You are absolutely correct when you say that it never ends. The past two days at my new job, I ate in the teachers lounge with tiny bites and my mouth closed tight. I took note of all the salads that others were eating and felt a bit self-conscious about my own lunch. I LOVE MYSELF, DAMN IT! But it truly never ends, especially when we are fighting against a fat shaming culture. Those roots go too deep to obliterate in the current cultural climate. Despite this, I'm hopeful because there are people like YOU and me who are willing to blog about our experiences and make things BETTER. It doesn't end, but it gets better, definitely!
I love that you ripped the following nagging thought from your brain and gave voice to it: "I"m afraid of feeling left out." I AM AFRAID OF THIS TOO. If being fat is so awesome, and it certainly is, then what will happen when I'm NOT fat?!
This is another reason that I am so glad that our blog focuses on body empowerment as a whole. We are fat activists for sure, because fat people need a community and activism, but we also write to other audiences--those who are thin, those who are medium-sized, those who are allies, those who fat shame and whose who don't--and I believe that even as our bodies change throughout life, we will still always have valuable perspectives to offer on body empowerment.
In fact, if our bodies are someday no longer fat, we will have even MORE experiences to write about; we will have a larger community to discover. We can say that we've been there, and now we're here, and someday we may be fat again, but no matter what we have always tried our best to practice body love. I truly believe that once you have been fat, your identity has been influenced permanently. Some of these influences can be detrimental, but some of them are powerful. Our fatness has given us each a distinct voice that will remain even if we are no longer fat. I credit being fat as something that taught me about humility and finding beauty in everything. These are the thoughts that keep me going, and this is what your post inspired me to finally give voice to.
Besides the fact that your post had so many points I agree with, showed the less positive but wholly necessary side of being fat and proud, was well written, and clearly displayed deep emotional depth, it made me remember why I wanted to start this blog with you. It reminded me of why we became friends. It reminded me of one of the best (tangible) gifts that I have ever received. It reminded me of why we are so close and why our friendship is so important.
It made me hope that everyone who reads this blog has a friend like you.
--The BB
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