Taggin Hash Tuesday: #FatProblems in Public Restrooms

For today's installment of #FatProblems, we want to focus on something that's a bit personal but just needs to be addressed...public restrooms! It may seem silly, but when you're fat it sometimes feels like the world isn't made to fit you. It's like when you go clothes shopping and you feel like none of the clothes are made for your body. Many public restrooms have cramped spaces and feeling giant in a space that's so personal can make you feel bad about yourself if you are already sensitive about your weight.

When those doors open inwards and you have to squeeze yourself against the toilet paper dispenser to get out, things get embarrassing. Then everyone is staring at you in the mirrors as you try to get out, and it makes the situation very uncomfortable. It's like the WW always says: Sometimes you have the urge to just tell people that you're aware and okay with your fat so that they don't pity you!

Another thing that fatties are sometimes aware of is bathroom odors.  Obviously all kinds of bodies produce all kinds of odors, but if you remember back to our very first Fat Myth Monday, people are in the habit of assuming that fat people have poor hygiene.  This does not mean that everyone does.  But when we walk into a stinky bathroom and have to come out of the stall when there's other women washing their hands, and our first thought is "They think I did that," it doesn't matter if the other person is actually thinking it or not.  What matters is that we've had prior experiences with exchanged looks and dirty glances in bathrooms before that have made us paranoid about our association with bathroom odors.

Fat Girl Bathroom Bullying At Its Finest

If you're reading this post and thinking "Wtf? Bathroom problems, really?" you may be experiencing privilege. If you haven't had to question what others are thinking of you in small, cramped, smelly spaces, based on the fact that you are fat, this is again a possible example of privilege. That's why it is so important to bring issues such as this and previous #fatproblems into conversation. If you haven't had to worry about it, you may not realize that it happens!

No matter what your experiences with public restrooms are, privileged or not, there are definitely some steps you can take to help yourself/other fatties feel more comfortable.

First of all, don't stare at people as they exit their stall! They were doing something in there that they don't want to share with the world, so don't make them feel like they are being judged.

Secondly, don't make those loud awkward comments like "OHHH IT STINKS IN HERE, JESUS!" when you KNOW that there are other people in the restroom. Come on now, it's a bathroom, what did you expect?

Thirdly, check your own bias and assumptions--always!

Fourthly, and probably most importantly, build a positive self-concept that protects you from damaging your own self-esteem when you feel awkward in a situation like this. It stinks, (haha!) but it does happen, and the better you feel about yourself the easier it will be to deal with these situations.

Fifthly, realize that the bathroom is a place of struggle for many bodies, not just fat bodies.  As a reader pointed out, it is also a #tallproblem.  Obviously fat bodies aren't the only kind of bodies that are criticized or "abnormal."  Any kind of BIG is usually not in the plans for women.  Along with public bathroom stalls usually being too short (you can see over them!  Awkward!), some big women have big feet and finding big women's shoes can be difficult.  But back to the bathrooms.  Another community that often faces bathroom issues is the Trans* community.  If your gender and sex don't "line up," then you face a lot of dirty looks and confrontations from fellow bathroom users.  This is why gender neutral bathrooms are so important.  Don't just support your own private bathroom time.  Support the bathroom time of everyone else.  If someone who doesn't present themselves as feminine went into the women's bathroom, don't question their choice.  It is not for you to decide.

So, be a bathroom ally and make sure that you check your own restroom privilege. Those public, cramped spaces can be some of the worst for various groups, and those groups could use your support!